To Tip or Not to Tip
It’s a mystery: to tip or not to tip, and how much. When Americans leave the 50 States they face a different tipping etiquette. This is true no matter where you travel. Every guide book or travel web site lists the dos and don’ts. But what they propose shouldn’t necessarily be taken as gospel. For example, you are usually told that in a given country there’s a service charge – in Europe usually 15% -- that’s automatically added to restaurant bills. True, but that doesn’t mean the money actually goes to your waiter – or that it’s even shared by all the help. So if you really liked your waiter and/or asked for extra service, leave a tip in cash, preferably in the little dish in which the bill came.
There’s so much controversy on the subject of restaurant tipping that a special section on the Bonjour Paris message board has been devoted to the subject.
In taxis, one is expected to tip but how much varies on your experience. And that applies not just to the US but pretty much wherever you travel. Was the driver pleasant or sullen? Was the cab clean? Was it a junker with shock absorbers that had no compassion on your back? Were you transported from here to there without an unasked-for sightseeing tour? Did the driver have to schlep your baggage to somewhere and not just unload from the trunk? All of that gets considered and more. There are no hard and fast rules. But here’s one: if the driver throws the tip back in you face, assume you’ve tipped too little and make a quick exit.
Also, it does vary a bit by country. In France, for example, if you tip a driver more than a Euro or two, you’ll get a sincere “merci.” That’s because nearly all drivers own or lease their cars and don’t depend on tips to put food on the table. In Italy or Spain, that seldom applies so a more generous tip is usually expected.
My policy is to watch what the natives do. But even that can be confusing. Many French people tip nothing after a three star meal, while others tip an extra 5% or more. The best people to ask for advice are local acquaintances or business colleagues. If you ask an upscale hotel concierge, the response will invariably be, “It’s up to your discretion.”
If you’re staying in a hotel, do you tip? Probably not if it’s a Motel X where you pull into the parking lot, snatch the key to your room, use the tiny bar of soap and the bathroom facilities, and then crawl under the covers. You know, the kind of motel where the toilet seat has a band around it, assuring you it’s been washed since the previous guest was in residence. It’s a real plus when there’s a plastic cup of coffee and a pastry/doughnut waiting in the lobby when you settle your bill. Off you go and hit the road.
In a “real” hotel, it’s different. You do get service and often a lot of it. That service should be rewarded even if you’re annoyed at the hotel for often exorbitant charges for this or that. (Business travel expert Chris Barnett has been outraged by those extra charges and writes eloquently on the subject.).
Room service is another tipping challenge. Even though there’s an added charge on the bill, does the waiter receive it rather than the hotel? Many veteran travelers have learned to stash some change within easy reach so that when breakfast is served (and you’re still asleep), you’re not forced to make a mad dash in a state of undress. There’s something unnerving when the room service personnel look ever so much better dressed than you.
Many clients tip because they’re appreciative when the staff tries to accommodate them by giving these regulars the same rooms. However, do they leave tips for the maids? Usually not. And that’s something that is expected when you cross the ocean to the EU. Keep in mind also that leaving a few Euros on the night table does not ensure the tip will be shared with others who provide service – for example the night shift that turns down the bed, refreshes bathroom supplies, etc. In an upscale hotel I generally leave the tip with the concierge, requesting it be added to the usual shared tip pot that’s given to the executive housekeeper.
As for the concierge’s own tip a lot depends on whether or not you utilize his or her services. If restaurant reservations or much sought-after theater tickets obtained for you, show your gratitude. Ditto for whether doormen have been often asked to call a cab for you.
It’s probably a safe assumption that the more expensive the hotel, the more tipping is expected. Then there's the dilemma as to whether or not you tip at the end of your stay or at the beginning. My advice: tip for each service if you’re just passing through. If you’re a regular in “your” hotel away from home, the staff pretty well knows your habits and will understand that they will be tipped at the end of the stay.
When visiting developing countries, many travelers tend to over-tip. This is probably the best policy. An extra dollar isn’t going to break your bank or expense account but can have a definite impact on the life of the recipient and his or her family.
If anyone has a fool proof rules regarding tipping, please send them to me at Karen@BonjourParis.com
