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Strategies for Survival

Stuck on a desert resort island with no hope of a good meal – I’m from Washington (that’s what it said on the Program), and I’m here to help you.

Years ago, now that I think of it, indeed, only a few months’ ago, flush companies and associations held lavish meetings on exotic islands, where you were stuck but had lots of sun, beaches and high-voltage cocktails. Food, nah. Recall those lobsters in the Caribbean, frozen fish in Maui, meatballs in the Philippines. No thanks.

Now that my friends, the bankers, wankers and wogs, who made money from making money and used to bankroll these things, have all gone South market-wise, we meet in exciting places like – oh never mind – I’ve lost enough friends already blogging.

So, to my current plight. I’m stuck on an island, a Marriott Island, high above the Lazio plain between Rome and the sea. It’s an island; the Asian concierge advised me not to go running outside “the property” because of the “wild ducks,” which I soon learned were packs of wild dogs, rivaling those in Bucharest.  

While I was really “stuck” there for only a day, it caused me to recall the many other times I’ve been stuck similarlywisely, where like in the Catskill hotels of yore, one had lots of inedible food but…… Or you can frequent the resort bar/fine dining/casino where the food is over-priced, assembly-line and such of like that you would never order in Midtown, far less the West Side of Manhattan. 

1.So I have developed some rules to survive in such hostile environments:

2.Go back to basics – beef filets, fresh fruit and bread.

3.Fill the knapsack at the dock, with salami, cheese and bread (and when in Sarah Pailin-land, Spam).

4.Accept the kindness of strangers, esp., rich ones bearing gifts.

5.Escape temporarily, hey if Papillion could do it, so can you. I know the hovercraft is expensive, the    vaporetto takes forever, the rapid train ain’t so rapid but you’ve gotta get out.

6.When on terra firma, eat well and refill the ole knapsack.

7.Accept the Tao; float like a leaf on the river; Adopt the Slogan of Sarkozy: cool cool, zen zen, calme calme.

8. Get out permanently, as soon as possible, as my then boss and I did from Palm Springs.

Don’t accept these invitations, even from fawning admirers, trusted old friends or new friends who have just “discovered” you. (Especially if the airline ticket is Business or First Class and the expenses on the ground are yours [they got the tickets for free Dude for bringing in 2000 suckers to the Congress!])

These thoughts were finalized at a wonderful prison-escape meal at the Teatro del Vino, located in the 4 story Gambero Rosso Citta del Gusto (Taste Town), in Rome. 

Blog: John Talbott’s Paris
©by John Talbott 2008