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From a Distance: the Tour de France

By Louis Borgenicht Just watching the Tour de France from a distance the first week, I noticed the event seemed fraught with accidents—too many of them, according the television commentators Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen. Even Tyler Hamilton and Lance Armstrong, both of whom had “gone to ground” at least once during the first week, had some suggestions for le Tour planners. Mind you, I’m a novice Tour devoté but I’ve garnered enough familiarity with both its scoring and planning to understand what they were talking about.

My understanding was more visceral than that: seventeen years ago I, too, had gone to ground after hitting a rock with the front tire of my ten-speed on the way to work. I was probably going all of ten miles per hour; those in the Tour peleton were doing a minimum of thirty. Nevertheless, on impact with the pavement I immediately broke my elbow, my clavicle (a common biking injury) and two ribs. The pain was horrific. Surgery on my elbow, and weeks of recuperation ensued.

So imagining Tyler Hamilton riding last year’s Tour de France, considering his injuries, was amazing to me. Cobblestone streets must have been nothing short of agonizing but you never saw it on his face.

By the end of the first week, both Hamilton and Armstrong were making public comments about how to improve the safety of the route. Hamilton suggested that the final sprint to the end of a stage should not occur on narrow streets, since it causes riders to bunch up jockeying for position (as was the case with the last kilometer of stage seven). Armstrong urged the inclusion of more time trials during the first week to help sort out the weak from the strong and thus spread the peleton out a bit more.

Much of watching the Tour for hours on end is a vicarious experience for those of us who do not truly consider ourselves cyclists. The glimpses of the Belgian and French countryside evoke memories and aspirations. Cathedrals in nearly every French town of size, a healthy looking pig romping in a roadside field, and the occasional chateau create both wistful nostalgia and plans for the future. In this sense, le Tour  is a perfect diversion for the Francophile relegated to Stateside for the foreseeable future.

This is not to say that watching the riders in their colorful team garb is boring. Just imagining yourself in the midst of the peleton is enough to keep you riveted to the screen. The riders clearly have more coordination than I could ever hope to develop; a mere miscalculation of inches could bring you and many others down, yet for the most part the crowd pushes onwards safely.

Then there is the hazard of riding in the rain, which the competitors had to do nearly every day this week. They had to do it. If confronted with similar options, I would hop into my Subaru.

During the first week I learned, I think, a couple of informational tidbits that left me wondering. Who are those women on either side of the podium who permit them selves particularly European kisses with the stage and point winners? (I’ve seen one on each cheek, the French version of three, and even four.) How do the riders urinate while riding? Courtesy of Outside magazine, I learned that the “podium girls” are chosen by Tour sponsors and are, for the most part, professional models. Their clothing changes according to the importance of the person on the podium. The maillot jaune winner is flanked by two beauties wearing fashionable outfits, their skirt slit to just mid-thigh. By the time of the third presentation ceremony (best young rider), the woman are wearing pants suits.

The information on elimination is more conflicting. I swear I heard Bob Roll (author of Tour de France Companion) say that he riders have some sort of evaporative system that permits them to urinate (they drink an average of one liter of liquid per hour) without missing a stroke. Outside claims that the riders in the peleton agree ensemble to stop, dismount and relieve themselves by the roadside. One knowledgeable biker friend of mine says the rider in need sidles off to the edge of the peleton and “lets it all hang out.”

As far as the actual Tour is concerned, the second week will likely reveal a bit more about what might be expected by the end on July 25th. As the riders begin to encounter the mountains, les Pyrénees first, the differentiation of the men from the boys will begin. Lance Armstrong and Jan Ulrich, for example, will be trying to make their statements and the young sprinters who have dominated the first week of the race will likely fade into the back of the peleton.

The logistics, the strategy, and the subtext of the race get more complex as the event continues. For those of us content to experience it vicariously on television, letting our imaginations roam through both the unfolding drama and the bucolic French countryside, the Tour de France is the next best to being there.

The Top 10 Overall After Stage Eight
After 1,449.1km of racing the top of the general classification is as follows:
1. Thomas Voeckler (France) BLB 33h03'36" (43.831km/h)
2. Stuart O'Grady (Australia) COF at 3'01"
3. Sandy Casar (France) FDJ at 4'06"
4. Magnus Backstedt (Sweden) ALB at 6'27"
5. Jakob Piil (Denmark) CSC at 7'09"
6. Lance Armstrong (US) USP at 9'35"
7. George Hincapie (US) USP at 9'45"
8. Jose Azevedo (Portugal) USP at 9'57"
9. Jose Gutierrez (Spain) PHO at 10'02"
10. Erik Zabel (Germany) TMO 10'06