One of the questions is are children better (or worse) treated as parents tend to be older?
Do they have more or less patience? My experience has been that parenting is far more "hands-on" these days and children aren't (as freqently) parked with baby-sitters.
Is Maman Mean or Magnifique?
We all have our own experiences. My friends' children are treated with respect and are well behaved.
I rarely see any other children behaving badly but it does happen. I saw two French families with children from hell. In one, the two were chhasing eachother in the Picasso museum, bumping into people, the parents not paying attention. Another child with another French couple layed down in the doorway so that we all had to walk over him. I finally sat on a bench waiting for the two families to go on ahead into another room. Children ar what their parnts allow in no matter what country.
I rarely see any other children behaving badly but it does happen. I saw two French families with children from hell. In one, the two were chhasing eachother in the Picasso museum, bumping into people, the parents not paying attention. Another child with another French couple layed down in the doorway so that we all had to walk over him. I finally sat on a bench waiting for the two families to go on ahead into another room. Children ar what their parnts allow in no matter what country.
I find it interesting that you have this point of view. I first visited France in 1995 when I spent almost 6 months there, and I left the country with a very similar point of view. The parenting styles of many parents, young or old, bordered on abusive, I thought, and was a stark contrast to what I observed in Italy. Several years ago, though, I hosted a young French man for a few years while he attended school in the US, and we "adopted" each other and have remained quite close ever since. Last year, he and his partner had their first baby, and I have made two trips to France since then as any doting grand mere would. I've been included in the lives of their extended families, which include children ranging from infants to adolescents, as well as the lives of many of their friends who are also beginning to start their own families. I 'm happy to say that I've seen a different style of parenting than what I observed and took to be the norm back in 1995. All of the children with whom I spent any time this past year were very well behaved, but I never had the sense that they were that way because they feared the wrath of their parents. They played actively and enthusiastically with their friends and cousins, as I would expect children to do. And I never observed anything but loving, patient behavior from their parents or aunts and uncles or grandparents or greatgrandparents towards the children. I don't even recall anyone raising their voice in a threatening manner. As I talked to Aymeric and Fanny, and to many of their friends with small children, I heard what I would expect from any young parent: the hope that your child will grow up to be a healthy, bright, thoughtful, creative addition to the human race, that as parents you can know how to be attentive and loving without spoiling your child and turning him into an egocentric monster. So while I have certainly observed the behavior of parents that you describe, I've fortunately observed something different, as well.
"Another difference I've noticed is that my French friends' children do not have nearly as many toys as many of their American counterparts. Frankly, it's striking for me to walk into a house where a 2-year-old lives and not see brightly colored plastic crap everywhere."
And having tripped over more than my share of rattles and books and stuffed animals in every room of the apartment, I know of at least one French child with his share and more of toys!
"Another difference I've noticed is that my French friends' children do not have nearly as many toys as many of their American counterparts. Frankly, it's striking for me to walk into a house where a 2-year-old lives and not see brightly colored plastic crap everywhere."
And having tripped over more than my share of rattles and books and stuffed animals in every room of the apartment, I know of at least one French child with his share and more of toys!
_t_w_64.jpg)
"Living in the heart of Paris, Janine di Giovanni sees daily evidence that French mothers are strict with their children to the point of cruelty. But it does seem to work..."
Link to UK Telegraph article: Is Maman Mean or Magnifique?
My comments:
I have seen these mothers almost literally dragging their child by the arm up the stairs in the metro and down the street. I remember how cold and stern the mother in my French host family seemed some 23 years ago. On the other hand, I have known French mothers in their 30s and 40s who don't seem quite so harsh with their youngsters. Are times changing? Or are they that way with their children when I'm not around?
I'll be the first to say that in the US things have gone way overboard regarding the way children are treated and catered to (I know some people would criticize me for saying this since I have no children, though I was actually once a child myself and I have friends with children, so I feel my opinion has some validity even so). I honestly fear for those youngsters who grow up playing games where no one wins or loses because "we're all winners" -- the "self-esteem" today's parents and teachers are working so hard to instill is going to take a mighty blow when those kids become adults and hit the real world.
Another difference I've noticed is that my French friends' children do not have nearly as many toys as many of their American counterparts. Frankly, it's striking for me to walk into a house where a 2-year-old lives and not see brightly colored plastic crap everywhere.
Granted, these are generalizations and not everyone fits those descriptions, but quite a few people do.
Okay, off my soapbox now! What is your reaction to the article?
Link to UK Telegraph article: Is Maman Mean or Magnifique?
My comments:
I have seen these mothers almost literally dragging their child by the arm up the stairs in the metro and down the street. I remember how cold and stern the mother in my French host family seemed some 23 years ago. On the other hand, I have known French mothers in their 30s and 40s who don't seem quite so harsh with their youngsters. Are times changing? Or are they that way with their children when I'm not around?
I'll be the first to say that in the US things have gone way overboard regarding the way children are treated and catered to (I know some people would criticize me for saying this since I have no children, though I was actually once a child myself and I have friends with children, so I feel my opinion has some validity even so). I honestly fear for those youngsters who grow up playing games where no one wins or loses because "we're all winners" -- the "self-esteem" today's parents and teachers are working so hard to instill is going to take a mighty blow when those kids become adults and hit the real world.
Another difference I've noticed is that my French friends' children do not have nearly as many toys as many of their American counterparts. Frankly, it's striking for me to walk into a house where a 2-year-old lives and not see brightly colored plastic crap everywhere.
Granted, these are generalizations and not everyone fits those descriptions, but quite a few people do.
Okay, off my soapbox now! What is your reaction to the article?